I’m a Blogger, get me the f**k out of here!

So there I was deep in the jungle with the cast of I’m a celebrity get me out of here. Ant & Dec were cush, funny how I got on with them just great. Must be the Geordie buzz. Who knows? Then Amir Khan came up & started dancing with twinkle toes he hits me on the nose. I become wide wake while he spits like a snake, saying, ” I’m the champ. Yeah I’m the champ.” With that, I hit the jungle juice & knocked him the f**k out! With one big clout. Kiosk Keith jumped in & slapped me silly with a wet eel’s willy that made me kneel, then that lass from the Saturdays gave me the kiss of life & passed me a knife. So in comes the crazy gang like a wild man in the form of Dennis Wise, dressed in disguise as a jungle jedi, flying through the sky, with a flying kick he hits me quick but I pull the knife & threatened his life. Then out of nowhere Boris Johnsons father thinks he’s harder & chases me down shits creek, with a shout & a shriek he’s got me beat. I only lasted a week before screaming, 


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