Don’t Be a Billy Bucknut Backpacker!


You dont want to be the ‘Billy Bucknut’ of the backpacking world now do you?

Well here’s some rather obvious tips that’ll make sure your not!

In no particular order,

#1 Always pack light my friend, you’ll be glad you had, trust me! You dont need all that extra weight, your not the king of the jungle, who travels from place to place with a buffalo on your back to feed your young. Seriously mate, it’ll put a downer on your trip, not to mention hurt like hell.

So before you leave, toddle right on back to your backpack & take out half of what you’ve packed. You’ll not need it honestly, when I first started out I ended up throwing most of what I packed away to lighten the load, you’ll do the same if you pack your kit like a tit!

#2 On your travels, always keep your wits about you. There’s some tricky little f##kers out there that,ll think your some divvy, who they can mug right off, dont take no shit off no-one, your no Billy Bucknut! Keep an eye on your backpack at all times. Watch out for pickpockets & scammers. Just say no & crack on. If they dont leave you alone, then just hit the twat & do 1:)

#3 Once you land in your destination visit the travel info 1st thing, & check out all the great deals on offer, like whats happening where & cheap travel offers, get yourself a cheap train/bus ticket & explore, who know’s what you’ll find!

#4 Always make an itinerary plan before you travel. The places you’ll visit, how to travel to & from. Do a spot of brainstorming before & on your travels, you’ll be glad you did, when everything goes smoothly, just like you planned it!

#5 Hit the cheap accommodation if your on a budget. Especially if your travelling around alot, as it’ll seriously hurt your pocket if your wanting the life of luxury in hotels. Check out hostels & campsites, if your funds are fading fast, even if you find a secluded spot & pitch up like a proper traveller, you’ll save for tomorrows accommodation.


#6 A first aid kit would be a good idea. Who knows, that f##k off flying thing that got in your tent & slapped you about a bit before you could defend yourself, might carry a good left hook, so some form of sterile ethanol kit might just help you out!

#7 If your kipping in a tent or a hostel, then its a good idea to keep some bog roll in your backpack, just incase that nice foreign cuisine you just had might have a mad laxative effect & when you buckle your way to the toilet, not realising until your finished that there is none, then your really up shits creek are’nt you!

#8 Respect & admire the culture of others, your the foreigner, not them! Enjoy your new experiences but dont take the piss, your on a backpacking holiday not in ‘shag-enuf’ (magaluf) on a club 18-30. Mix with people, you never know, you might make a friend for life, or even better, someone to share your tent with 1 night;) & mix with other travellers, it might lead you on a new, unexpected journey. Were all up for a bit traveller crack now & again, so be open to new opportunities!

#9 Its always a good idea to take extra batteries & chargers, I always take a solar powered charger & there great, why not invest in 1, there cheap enough on Amazon & you might aswell get some other use from that glaring sun, than just a sun tan.

#10 Always protect your passport! Rather obvious eh? Well you’ll be surprised how many have either lost or had theirs stolen, so guard it with your life! There’s always ways to get back home, like local embassies, but still, you dont want to be the Billy Bucknut Backpacker, turning up at the airport without it!

#11 If your travelling for a bit longer than usual, then inform your bank! Its not nice when you hit an ATM & it bites your hand off, swallowing your card in the process. Informing your bank before you travel will stop silly shit like that happening!


#12 We could go on & on but were not going too!

So lastly, just enjoy it! Enjoy everything about it, learn & grow from the experience & be proud of your achievement & whatever you do, wherever you travel, just remember, ‘Don’t be the Billy Bucknut Backpacker.’


If these tips did’nt help you in any way, & you just dont get it. Then join me next time, when I’ll explain to you for your own good what not to do, if you see a little hole, about waist high in your toilet cubicle,  you BILLY BUCKNUT BACKPACKER!


Take care travellers😜


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